Comment to be added.

I haven't updated in quite awhile, and I think it's about time. I actually have things to update about. I actually have a life. Who would have thought it, right? I'm fairly certain that no one even reads this anymore, but for the few who do, I thought I'd just give a little update about what's going on in my life.

Starting in September, I moved out of my parents' house and into a little apartment with nickelodeon. So far it's working out great. We have a lot of the same habits (we really need to take out the garbage and put the dishes away but whatever), and we have nearly the same taste in food, plus the same sense of humor...basically we just have a good time all the time. I really couldn't have asked for a better roommate.

I'm still working at Barnes & Noble, which I love, although I do need to start thinking about getting a "real" job sometime in the relatively near future. I haven't actually taken any steps to do so yet, beyond buying like five books at B&N on how to choose the best career for you, and I really have no idea what I want to do, but as much as I like working at B&N I can't work there forever. Not on $8.25/hr at least. I just wish the economy weren't so shitty right now. Worst time ever to have just graduated from college, right?

Other than the new apartment and work I haven't had a TON going on in my life. One of the most exciting things to happen this week was my housewarming gift from my parents arriving- a brand new queen-sized mattress set. It's ridiculously comfortable and...takes up most of my tiny bedroom. But I don't even care because it's amazing.

And I guess there might be something a little more exciting than the mattress. I tried out for an a cappella group earlier tonight. Without some kind of musical outlet, I always get kind of depressed. My parents are in an a cappella group and have invited me to sing with them several times, but everyone in the group is my parents' age and it's just...not for me, I guess. But a few weeks ago I was at my mom's cousin's wedding, and I got to talking to a random guy who just happened to be in a small, Boston-based a cappella group that was looking for new members. I explained that I'd been in an a cappelle group in college, and had even been musical director for a semester, and without ever having heard me sing, he told his group about me and they invited me to come audition. I've said before that singing is absolutely my favorite thing to do in the entire world, but singing in harmony with other people who love it as much as I do is as close to heaven as I think is possible to get without heavy drugs. So anyway, I think the audition went well, and now I've got my fingers crossed and am waiting to hear back from them.

Also! Last week I went on my first date in fucking ages, and while I'm not sure it will go anywhere, the guy is really nice and we have a ton in common, so I'm willing to give it a shot at least. We're going out again on Sunday. I'm a little bit afraid that he's more into me than I am into him, and my gut is telling me that he's getting a little overzealous, but I also really like the attention, so...I guess we'll just see how this goes. I'm absolutely incompetent when it comes to the opposite sex, so this is almost...an experiment, I guess. Or at least some kind of learning experience, if nothing else.

My mom and I also finally started up that blog I mentioned in my last entry...ages and ages ago. It's about me getting out on my own and her dealing with the empty nest and figuring out what to do with her life. I know a lot of you are in the same stage of life as I am, or at least close to it, and if not then maybe you're closer to my mom's stage in life, so maybe you'd find it interesting? Anyway, I'm not saying I'll defriend you if you don't read it, but I think it's worth a glance or two. It's called Launch/Relaunch. So. Yes. Check that out.

This weekend I'm heading back to my parents' house (okay, I'll say it, heading home) to look after the puppy while my parents are down in Jersey. I'll need to take some pictures of her, because she's getting bigger every day and I can't even believe how adorable she is. I think I've become a dog person.

So that's what's going on with me, I guess! Look at me, all grown up and having a life. It's almost surreal. It seems like just yesterday I was in college and so depressed that I could barely function. I had trouble looking into the future and seeing something positive, and holy shit, here I am. And it's awesome.

I've been absolutely terrible about updating, but here's a quick update because there are exciting things afoot! I'll make a list. I like lists.

1. I finished my summer class on Wednesday, which means I'm officially done with college! I'm pretty sure I got an A or a B, which is excellent.
2. nickelodeon and I are going to look at an apartment this weekend, and if it looks good, then perhaps we will be moving there next month!
3. Ive been really lame and depressed recently so I went on hiatus from all my RPs. I'm working on getting myself back where I want to be, and hopefully will be back to RPing in no time!
4. My mom and I are starting up a mother/daughter blog about us both figuring out to do with our lives now that I'm out of college and now that my mom has an empty nest. Tentative title: Launch/Relaunch.
5. PUPPY. We got. A two month old Miniature Australian Shepherd today. her name is Layla, and she's pretty much the cutest puppy I've ever seen. I'm totally in love with her already. *__* OBSERVE:



ISN'T ShE ThE FUCKING CUTEST???

That is all for now. :D

So I haven't posted in something like two months, since I graduated from college. Unfortunately I haven't been reading my flist either, so I've been hugely out of touch, and for that I'm very sorry. how is everyone? What's going on in your lovely lives?

As for me, I'm back working at Barnes & Noble, which I actually really enjoy. I'm still living at home, But nickelodeon and I are going to look at apartments starting TOMORROW, and I'm excited. I also started my summer class, which is called "Laughter: A Literary Approach". I hate it. The professor is a priest and I am really not a fan of his teaching style or the material he picked. he doesn't seem to really be making any kind of a point with any of what we've done so far and it's just. Lame. I'm the only person in the class who ever says anything intelligent, and that's frustrating. But whatever, just four more weeks and I'm done with classes for AS LONG AS I PLEASE.

Other than that, I'm going to Baltimore next week with nickelodeon to see maxine_chan and aliquot and go to see hp6 and also go to Otakon! I'm excited. :D

Anyway! I kind of wanted to give everyone a mini UPDATE on my life, but the REAL reason that I'm posting is that I really want to get back into writing again, so I AM TAKING FIC PROMPTS!!!!

SO! skedaddle on over to my writing comm, almostfaemous, where I've posted an entry in which you can make your requests!

And I really am interested in how you all are doing, I promise. I'm really going to try to do better at reading my flist starting now, okay? ♥

The last two days have been pretty excellent, which is brilliant, as they were my last two days at Drew University.

On Friday morning I woke up at 9:30, which is really early for me, and drove three minutes down the road to the hotel at which my parents were staying (I just totally rewrote that sentence so that it didn't end in a preposition, as I almost have an English degree and feel I should pay attention to that kind of thing). Anyway, we had breakfast and then I went to a rehearsal for chorale. One of the things that I've loved about chorale is that we sing at every graduation, so I've gotten to see all my friends graduate over the years (except for last year, when I ran away before graduation out of shame), and I looked forward to singing at my own graduation all four years of college. Anyway, rehearsal until about noon, and then I attempted to clean my room a bit before my sister and her boyfriend (whose name is Beau, isn't that a brilliant name?) arrived! My room was a fucking disaster area and I did the best I could with the low level of energy and motivation I had.

We went to Panera for lunch, and it was delicious, as per usual. Chicken Caesar sandwich. So good. Then I had more rehearsal before the Baccalaureate service (which, for those of you who don't know, is sort of an all-inclusive religious service celebrating graduation). The service itself was wonderful. All the readings were really cool, and I got to sing a couple of awesome songs and my family was there and it was basically excellent. Then we went out to dinner at Applebee's, which I always enjoy immensely.

Then we decided that since it was my graduation weekend, there needed to be some celebration. Most of my graduating class, I imagine, was doing the same on campus, getting schwasted and reminiscing and celebrating with their friends, but instead of drinking with my friends, I did with my family. I like them better than most of my friends anyway, but don't tell them that. Anyway, we all holed up in my parents' hotel room and played drinking games and had many good times and good conversations and watched ridiculous YouTube videos and it was basically fantastic. And! I was still able to wake up at 8:30 this morning to get ready for graduation!

Showered, my mom ironed my dress and my gown, I drove back to campus, got my fancy little card, from which my name would be read, proclaiming that I would be the seventh person alphabetically in my class to walk across the stage. We lined up, we processed, I sneaked out of the line and sat with the chorale instead of my class, and the ceremony began.

Having been to three graduation ceremonies at Drew over the years, I pretty much knew what to expect, but for some reason (probably because it was MY graduation) I was so much more captivated by the speakers (the class speaker proclaimed "be a nerd", which I think is great advice), and the ceremony seemed to be half as long as any of the others. When they called the College of Liberal Arts students up I found my place in line, the Dean who helped me out when I was failing classes because I was too depressed to go to class two years ago read my name and shook my hand, I walked across the stage, receiving an empty diploma thingamabob (I am brainfarting on what those are called) shaking hands with the president of the university (who loves my a cappella group), and attempting to not drop my hat, which fit fine until I needed it to behave. The picture the official photographer took of me as I left the stage will be of me holding my cap on, lest it attempt to escape.

Chorale sang twice during the ceremony, the second time being the Alma Mater, which I'm glad I know, because I feel like a lot of people have no idea what their college's Alma Mater is, or even WHAT that is. When the ceremony was over, my chorale professor, who I met a few days into my freshman year, and who loves me and was overjoyed that I was back this semester, gave me a hug and told me that he was proud of me. I found my parents and godparents and sister and Beau and godsister and godbrother and we proceeded to take way too many photos. I should upload one and post if for you once I get home.

Anyway, then I returned my cap and gown, and my dad practically forced me to drink some of the champagne they were offering to pretty much everyone. I'm not the hugest fan of champagne, but it was celebratory, and they had orange juice so I made a mimosa and it was excellent. I saw my advisor and she hugged me and told me that she was proud of me and reminded me of the conversation we'd had last year around this same time about me not graduating and how it didn't matter. She's really cool, and I'm really glad that she was my advisor.

Anyway! After that, Family, Godfamily, and Beau headed to the Macaroni Grill for delicious foodstuffs and gifts. The Godfamily gave me a generous gift card to IKEA, for use in furnishing the apartment I plan on getting with nickelodeon once I'm back in Massachusetts. Such a perfect gift really. Then my parents gave me a RIDICULOUSLY generous amount of money to go toward a new car. I've never had a new car before, and I am so excited. Not just about the car, but about starting my life and...it's just really exciting.

After lunch, we headed back to Drew and packed up my dorm room, which took absolutely no time at all with all nine of us working together. I said goodbye to The Cave, which is what my friends and I called it, and headed back to the hotel, where the nine of us just sat and talked and drank and ordered Domino's and generally had an excellent time. I kind of fell asleep before everyone left, though, and woke up at about one, still in my clothes, with the lights out and my parents asleep in the other bed. Whoops. So then I was completely sober and couldn't sleep, so here I am, chronicling the weekend for posterity.

At one point today, my dad said "You do realize that all these people are here because they love you, right?" meaning my Godfamily and, of course, them, and it just made me feel loved and important and...I don't know. I don't often feel that way, so it was really nice.

And my mom just woke up and told me to turn off the computer and try to get some sleep, as we're driving back to Massachusetts in the morning, so I should probably wrap this up. I'm sorry this entry is so long, I got a little bit carried away, I think.

Anyway! I love you all, and I'm really happy today, and that is excellent. I'm (nearly) a college graduate! What the fuck!

So here's the thing.

I was supposed to graduate tomorrow and be done with school forever, or at least until some-odd years down the line I decided that I wanted to get my master's in something-or-other.

But this is not the case.

Oh, I'll still get to walk at graduation tomorrow, wearing my cap and gown, with family and friends there to congratulate me and all that, but I won't be receiving a diploma, and I'm not done with school.

APPARENTLY, at the very beginning of the semester, my advisor and the registrar noticed that I was two credits short in my major (because of classes being dropped or failed, I guess), and concocted a plan in which I would take a summer course. However, they neglected to tell me this until WEDNESDAY, when I sent off a quick e-mail to my advisor to make sure that I had all my ducks in a row.

First of all, I'm totally pissed at the administration for dropping the ball and not letting me know what was up. The plan they've worked out for me is acceptable, I guess, but I would have liked to KNOW ABOUT IT. My advisor told me that she'd assumed that the head of the department had contacted me about it, and I assume that she assumed that my advisor had told me, and basically, they just suck a lot and I'm angry and extremely disappointed because I just want to be fucking DONE. I was looking forward to, you know, STARTING MY LIFE, but instead I have to scramble to register for a course at a college near home and make sure that it's ACCEPTABLE and PAY for it and...none of this is the end of the world, obviously. I was just excited to be done, and my family was proud of me, and I was proud of myself, for coming back from fucking up so badly and making it through, and now I find out that I'm not quite finished. And the people in charge knew about this the whole time and neglected to tell me.

This just. Sucks.

And I'm late for a performance, so I'm just gonna. Post this and run. Be back later, kids. ♥

...I think I just finished all my work for college.

Maybe.

I hope.







Now to sleep for 100 hours.

I keep meaning to update, but then there's so much that's happened that I don't even know where to start. I feel like I've changed so much over the last year or so, and so it's really hard to pick up where I left off. This is me pretending to start over for a second.

Hi! I'm Fae. At least on the internets. My real name is Nicolle, but most of my friends call me Nikki. You may call me whatever you like, but round these parts I'm usually Fae.

I'm graduating from college in less than two weeks. Holy fuck. I still have eleven pages worth of papers to write, and a final, but then I'm DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVER. Well. Maybe not forever, I might decide to get my master's eventually, but for the moment and for the discernible future, I am SO close to being done. It's both exciting and terrifying.

And I'm not sure what else to say. There are so many things that I could write about, from my feelings about the classes that I've been taking to the awesome things I've been doing with my friends, or my a cappella group (which I love more than anything in the world), or how fucking cool my parents are, or of course, fandom stuff...what I've been reading and watching and roleplaying and all that. And then there's things like how I feel about myself which is always weird to talk about, or how I feel about my life. I'm just not sure how to balance it out, I guess. It makes me feel better to write about shit, but I haven't done it in such a long time that I kind of forget how. Isn't that silly? I'm minoring in writing. Ha HA.

Well anyway, I'm not going to spam your flists with me rambling uselessly anymore today. Instead! Have two YouTube videos, because I am an attention whore. First is the CompSci project which I just turned in last night, and the second is my friend Nick and I singing "A Whole New World" because we're Disney Kids 4 Lyfe.

Plz to be enjoying.

CompSci project! I think this is worth watching if just for the ridiculous voices. I voice a chicken, a hare, a tortoise, and a hamster in this lovely gem. It's pretty much retarded, but whatever.


And here is Nick and me singing "A Whole New World". It's not perfect, by any means, but I think we sound pretty good. Someone on YouTube accused us of lip synching, so I think that's a good thing? I be the ladyperson on the left.


Anyway. It's 11AM and I haven't slept yet. OOPS! :D

ETA: It is now past noon, and I still haven't slept. WTF is wrong with me??? Anyway, I recorded myself singing "Seasons of Love" from RENT for empath_eia, and so I'm posting it here too, just in case anyone is le interested. Here ya go.

So I've mentioned in several places that I make a MEAN Chicken Tikka Misala, and every time I do, people ask me for my recipe! So! Here it is! If you don't know much about ethnic food, this is Indian. And it's fucking delicious.

Chicken Tikka Masala
Serves Four

INGREDIENTS
[Marinade]
1 cup yogurt
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp ginger
2 tsp salt
3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces
4 long skewers (optional)
[Sauce]
1 tbsp butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 jalapeno pepper, finely chopped
3 tsp cumin
3 tsp paprika
1 tsp salt
2 (8oz) cans tomato sauce
2 cups heavy cream

DIRECTIONS
1.) In a large bowl, combine yogurt, lemon juice, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, black pepper, ginger, and salt. Stir in chicken, cover, and refrigerate for at least one hour.
2.) Preheat grill to high heat (variation: set oven to broil).
3.) Lightly oil the grill grate. Thread chicken onto skewers and discard marinade. Grill until juices run clear, about 5 minutes on each side. If you have no skewers, grill on something like a cookie sheet to prevent chicken from falling through (variation: broil in oven, about seven minutes on each side)
4.) Melt butter in a large pot over medium heat. Saute garlic and jalapeno for 1 minute. Season with cumin, paprika, and salt. Stir in tomato sauce and cream. Simmer on low heat until sauce thickens (about 20 minutes). Add grilled chicken and simmer for 10 minutes. Transfer to a serving platter. (optional: garnish with fresh cilantro)

SERVE
with basmati rice and naan.

PREP TIME: 30 mins
COOK TIME: 50 mins
READY IN: 2hrs 20mins

This is the recipe I follow. The original recipe I took it from was a bit different, but I tweaked it a bit after making it a few times and finding what worked best. This recipe doubles the sauce from the original recipe because you can never have too much. In fact, tonight we ate this and ran out of sauce, and that's with it doubled! Also, the pointier the end of the jalapeno, the spicier it is, just so you're aware. Don't forget to take out the seeds! If you don't like it too spicy you can put less cayenne pepper into the marinade.

And that's it! I'd love to know what you guys think, if you end up making it, and if you come up with any variations that make it even better! :D

I am having such a ridiculously ADD day. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than five minutes and I keep checking and rechecking webpages that I know haven't updated. I think it's because I'm away from school and all the social stimulation I've gotten used to. I've been spending time with my parents, and I love them, and I have a lot of fun with them, but they don't really GET me the way that my friends do, and a lot of the things that I would talk about with my friends they just don't give a shit about. So that's probably why I'm so ridiculously all over the place.

I'm on chapter 109 of One Piece.

Anyone want to play that game where you write a story by going back and forth each writing one word at a time? You start.

I'm home for spring break! Being home is always excellent, but I miss school too. It sucks to have two places that I want to be at once. I'm sure that a lot of people have that problem. Oh well.

I don't really have all that many plans for this week, other than chilling out with my parents, cooking Indian food (which I am amazing at, btw), trying to get nickelodeon to set aside some time to chill out with me, and possibly heading into Boston with some school friends who live relatively nearby. Sounds like a successful spring break to me!

If anyone didn't see my last post, I've been writing letters to people on my flist, so if anyone would like to become my penpal (and I mean anyone, I don't care if we rarely talk, or even if we've never really talked properly. This is the perfect opportunity to get to know someone, and you get MAIL! REAL MAIL! PAPER AND INK AND HANDWRITING!), then I will write to you! Hahaha but yes, seriously, I will write to ANY of you, and just leave your address HERE, and I will start writing ASAP. :D

I'm up to chapter 84 in One Piece and it's already made me cry. Only 2389472398572 chapters to go!

WANNA BE MY PENPAL?


So here's the thing. I love writing letters, and I also love getting letters. I'm already penpals with prpl_pen and snuzzie, but I would love to exchange letters with more of you. Anyone interested? Comments to this post are screened, and if you give me your address and maybe a thing or two that you'd like me to write about (like anything you'd like to know about me or whatever), then I will write you a letter. You don't have to write back, although as I said, I love getting letters. If you write back then I will definitely send you another letter! So...yes! Please give me your addresses and we shall be penpals and it will be excellent.

ETA: I've only gotten one request so far and have written a letter to malemiko and put it in an envelope with a stamp on it! Who's next???

ETA2: Letter two written to electricsong! Any other takers?

Sometimes I forget that my updates in this thing are all most of you ever hear from me. So that when something happens, you are completely left in the dark, unless I say something. Most of you are probably content with that, but I think that I still have at least a few people on my flist who give a shit.

A few weeks ago I posted and said that I had a boy, and I don't think I ever expanded on that, and oh. Is there are story to go along with that. So. I joined OkCupid fucking ages ago, mostly for funsies, but when a friend of mine joined eHarmony and started actually going on dates with some of the guys she got matched up with there (and I realized my own ineptitude when it comes to the opposite sex) I decided to actually fill out my profile on OkCupid and I uploaded a new picture, not really expecting any responses or actively searching anyone out.

Apparently my picture and half-assed profile warranted a response, though, because I started getting three or four messages every day. If I sign onto OkCupid I get like six instant messages at once. It's kind of ridiculous and overwhelming, but anyway, one day I was bored and decided to chat with a few of the guys who'd messaged me and I kind of hit it off with one of them. His name was Andrew and he was a huge dork, like me, and from his picture he looked really cute. Plus he was like 6'3" and that's fucking awesome. So that night he and I talked on Skype for like three hours and had a great conversation and it was really fun. The next night we Skyped again and he asked me if I wanted to start a sort of a relationship kind of a thing, and I said okay, because I really enjoyed talking to him and we seemed to really get along well.

( This is kind of a saga, so I'll cut the rest. )

I'm trying to figure out a username for George so I can app her somewhere, but I'm coming up blank. Anyone have any ideas?

Also, I just caught up on all the manga series I've been reading, including Naruto. Lol. I also started reading One Piece, and am really enjoying it so far, although I'm only fifty-something chapters in and have about twenty BILLION to go. It's nice to have so much to read, but at the same time I just want to be caught up and the sheer size of this series is DAUNTING.

Okay, it's about lunch time and then I've got some last minute homework to do before class this afternoon. ♥

So malemiko tagged me in this meme on Facebook, and mine came out pretty awesomely, so I wanted to share it with my flist as well as my Facebook friends. So here we go!



1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to FB with this text in the "caption" or "comment" and TAG the friends you want to join in. Or, alternately, post it to LJ and tag EVERYONE. Which is what I'm doing. This takes literally like five minutes and I made mine in Paint. DO IT!

ETA: Also! I uploaded one of my Computer Science projects onto YouTube, so you can see how amazing I am at programming little 3D animals and shit. This one has a T-Rex in it. Ooh and Ahh.

Sooo. I think I found a character that I really want to RP.

ETA: Does anyone know of a good multifandom RPG with a fairly generic plot? That's not bnf_brawl? I hate that my first instinct is to go back there, where it's familiar. I need somewhere new.

So. I haven't properly updated in awhile, so I figured it's about time. Even though I'm fairly certain that 95% of my flist doesn't even read my entries. But whatever, I suppose that's fair enough, considering how inconsistently I update.

Life is good. I've been spending a lot of time with my new friends from my a cappella group. They're awesome. They have the same ridiculous sense of humor as I do, and the same ridiculously messed up sleeping patterns. Last night we stayed up until like 8:30AM watching Dead Like Me and playing cards. Good times galore. The only sad part is that they're freshman, and therefore over four years younger than me, and once I leave they'll have another three years here. That weirds me out. Bleh.

School is going pretty well too. I've been sick this week and missed a few classes, but I feel like in general I'm pretty much on top of things, which is excellent. I'm actually doing my homework this semester, which would have been fairly unheard of for me last year. Hooray for succeeding.

Tonight there's a party at the Women's Concerns house, which we call WoCo, and the theme is "Favorite Color". So basically you have to come all dressed in one and only one color. The only color I have enough of to dress in completely is black, but I feel like that's a lame color, and I'd rather dress in green. So I'm heading to Kohl's to pick up something green to wear. I think I'll also get green nail polish and green eye makeup. I love themed parties.

Also! My friend Tom (purgatorysflame) is coming back to school tonight after being away for a week for surgery! I'm so glad that he'll be back, because I missed him immensely. I'm so lucky to have such excellent friends.

And this entry is kind of all over the place, and I feel like I didn't say anything that I meant to say, but oh well. I'm meeting friends for dinner in about three minutes, so I suppose I should wrap this up.

How's everyone else doing? I've been reading LJ entries, but I've failed at commenting and I feel so detached from my internetly friends in general. How's life, internetly friends?

This week has been so draining emotionally, that I finally broke down a little bit today. Well, that was also because I forgot to take my antidepressants for two days (I am ASTOUNDED at the difference it makes when I don't take them), but also it's legitimately been crazy.

I have severe issues with trusting that people care about me. In general I assume that people don't like me very much, and I try harder than any person should have to to be nice and be the kind of person I think they want me to be rather than being myself. Over the last few weeks, I've found friends who I feel comfortable being myself with, and for the first time in my life, I trust that they care about me. It's fucking weird, and I'm having trouble dealing with how that makes me feel.

And in the breakdown I've started realizing how little time I actually have with these people. I graduate on May 16th. That's only 3 1/2 months. And then I go back to the life that I built in MA, and that I loved, but where I was still trying so hard to be someone that people would like.

I'm hoping that this experience will teach me that people really can care about me for who I am, but even through the amazing times of these last few weeks, I've lost a friend who was really important to me for a long time. Realizing that I was the only person who cared in the friendship, and that they really wouldn't care at all if I never spoke to them again was like getting stabbed, but at the same time, kind of a relief. I don't have to try so hard anymore. Sometimes the disappointment is just too much, you know?

Anyway, I probably shouldn't be writing this in the middle of a depressive episode, but I have too many feelings right now. Feel fully free to ignore every last sentence. I won't mind. I don't think I even know any of you anymore. I'd like to, but I don't think many of you even like me very much. And that's probably just my nature springing back to the forefront, but with the shit that's happened in the past few months, do you really blame me?

I think I'll take another nap. Ugh. I watched The Lion King earlier and legitimately sobbed throughout the entire thing. I am a fucking mess.

And the saddest part is that I've never been happier in my entire life.

I need to do an actual proper update at some point. I went on tour with my a cappella group and it was one of the best weeks of my life. All of us are such a tight knit group of people, and I've never had such a great GROUP of friends as they are. They're amazing and I am so fortunate to have been able to come back this semester and be a part of this.

And school has started and so far it's going well. I'm actually doing homework and going to class (barring today when I had a weird reaction with my meds that caused me to hallucinate all morning wtf), and I really have high hopes for this semester. Yay.

Also, in other news:

I have a boy. :3

That is all. For now.

So I made myself a writing comm a little while ago, but hadn't used it yet, and decided to post a few of the poems I wrote last year, just to kick it off, I suppose. So if you're at all interested, they can be found at almostfaemous.

♥